The Pretzel Scandal

 

I'm sure you're wondering how a gal like me ends up in a place like this. Well, it started with a few humble pretzel sales. . .

Pretzel Wednesday was just a little weekly thing our school held to raise small funds for this or that. Soft, warm pretzels for all who remembered to bring a dollar. But things changed once we Excuse Proofed...

Pretzel Wednesday Message.png

Using our Push Messages, we sent parents a quick reminder on Tuesday night. Our school's weekly pretzel sales TRIPLED as a result! Pretzel Day had become a hit!

Pretzel Wednesday was doing so well, in fact, we decided it was time to expand our operation. Pretzel Friday was a full 'Go!'

When we began sending parents a reminder on Pretzel Day mornings, we cornered the school snack market. The dough changed hands fast - but The Life was even faster. . .

Pretzel Friday message.png

No one believed that all the money came from pretzel sales. When the SSEC cracked down, it was hard and swift. They tagged us a B.I.T.E (Baked Irresistible Treat Enterprise) and threatened to shut us down.

The cash was too fluid. The sales - nearly impossible to verify. Rumors of corruption began to swirl. . .

People were calling it PretzelGate; which only pumped pretzel popularity. Children thought PretzelGate was either a new type of fence made completely of pretzel; or a gateway to some glorious pretzel-filled place.

The SSEC had seen enough.

We were hit with 11 counts of emPretzelment. Our operation was shut down permanently.

So, I'm out of the Pretzel game for good...

... and I've been promoted to School Fundraising Coordinator! I've got some exciting ideas I'd love to share with you! Click Here and we'll crunch the numbers...